Draco's Song
by Moon Warrior
Summary: PG-13 for subject and one word. A songfic to "Adam's Song" by Blink 182. Dark and depressing. This is my first ever songfic, so please review and tell me what you thought!


M.W.'s Note: Okay, I am extremely depressed. I just found out that someone else did this EXACT same thing. WEll, I thought of it myself, even if someone else did first.  
  
  
  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own zip.  
  
  
  
(A/N) Blink 182 is one of my favorite bands. For some reason, the song Adam's Song always made me think of Draco Malfoy. I finally managed to get ahold of the lyrics, and I wrote this story. Please review.  
  
  
  
Draco's Song  
  
  
  
  
  
/I never thought I'd die alone  
  
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?  
  
I traced the cord back to the wall  
  
No wonder it was never plugged in at all/  
  
  
  
God, what a way to end it. Alone, in a cold, dark room. Perfectly dramatic, yeah. Pleasant? No. But I suppose suicide isn't exactly pleasant either. I fingered the tiny vial of poison. If you didn't know what it was, I suppose it could be called pretty. Clear glass, with a design of flowers on it, and a crystal stopper. The liquid inside was a bright red. Blood red, I thought to myself.  
  
  
  
/I took my time, I hurried up  
  
the choice was mine I didn't think enough  
  
I'm too depressed to go on  
  
but you'll be sorry when I'm gone/  
  
  
  
I should have thought more. Thought for myself, or just thought in general. But I didn't and that was why my life was so fucked up. When I was a kid, I accepted whatever my dad said. Swallowed it hook, line, and sinker, to use a muggle phrase. My father would kill me if he ever heard me say that, too. And I mean literally. My father doesn't like muggles. Then again, my father is a sadistic bastard. I suppose this is my sort of rebellion. At the very end, I'll defy him. Maybe he'll be sorry when there's no one left to carry on the family name.  
  
  
  
/I never conquered, rarely came  
  
but 16 just held such better days  
  
days when I still felt alive  
  
we couldn't wait to get outside  
  
the world was wide, too late to try  
  
the tour was over, we'd survived  
  
I couldn't wait till I got home  
  
to pass the time in my room alone/  
  
  
  
I'm seventeen years old, and I'm going to die. There were so many things I wanted to do with my life. Only a year ago, just one year, life was good. Even as a Slytherin, I was, in my own way, optimistic about life. I would get what I wanted out of the world, and if I didn't, then there would be hell to pay. I couldn't wait to get up every morning, see what the new day had for me. New chances, new situations. Each day was so different. Now, monotony.  
  
I loathe this school. There's no such thing as privacy. At least in the Manor, I could go into my rooms and lock the door. Until my father decided I had to come out. And I expected so much from the world. Now, I know. It's just too late to try.  
  
  
  
/I never thought I'd die alone  
  
another six months I'll be unknown  
  
give all my things to all my friends  
  
you'll never step foot in my room again  
  
you'll close it off, you'll board it up  
  
remember the time that I spilled the cup  
  
of apple juice in the hall  
  
and please tell mom this is not her fault/  
  
  
  
I wonder how my mother will take it. I think she might possibly have loved me, although I'm not sure. If she's at all sad about this, she'll just throw parties until the tears are gone. Six months from now, they won't remember me. They'll lock the door to my rooms, and bury the key. The tradition for departed Malfoys. I once asked my father what wold happen when all the rooms in the Manor were closed off. I got a beating for my daring to ask a question.  
  
I remembered a time when I must have been about five. One of the house-elves had given me a cup of juice. I had been so happy that day, I had made a new friend. A muggle boy, from the village by the Manor. One bounce too many, and the cup spilled. Of course, I was punished. I never showed my emotions after that.  
  
  
  
/I never conquered, rarely came  
  
but 16 just held such better days  
  
days when I still felt alive  
  
we couldn't wait to get outside  
  
the world was wide, too late to try  
  
the tour was over, we'd survived  
  
I couldn't wait till I got home  
  
to pass the time in my room alone/  
  
  
  
I wish so much now that time could stop. I wish I could be a year younger again, optimistic, happy, and, in a way, innocent. I thought it would all come to me, without any effort on my part. What a laugh that is now.  
  
I looked at the bottle again. Life, or... what? I sincerely hoped it was nothing. Oblivion is a thousand times better than existence. Because with my existence came pain, and guilt.  
  
There was really no question. Slowly, with shaking hands, I pulled out the stopper. It was shaped like a flower. A rose. My favorite flower, had anyone ever asked me. I loved the delicacy tempered by the cruelty, the petals and the thorns. But it didn't matter. I dropped the stopper on the bed, next to me. I lifted the tiny bottle to my lips, and with the last of my resolve, I poured the poison into my mouth and swallowed.  
  
  
  
/I never conquered, rarely came  
  
but tomorrow holds such better days  
  
days when I can still feel alive  
  
and I can't wait to get outside  
  
the world is wide, the time goes by  
  
the tour is over, I've survived  
  
I can't wait till I get home  
  
to pass the time in my room alone/  
  
  
  
It's done. I move the bottle and the stopper to the table next to my bed. I place my farewell note next to them. I move, and lay down on the bed. I fold my arms across my chest. I close my eyes. I smile.  
  
  
  
The blackness is coming closer now. But I welcome it. My time in this world is done. I regret so much, and can do nothing to fix it. But I hope, I hope...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(A/N) Please review. 


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